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My husband and I recently celebrated our 23rd anniversary and when I was contemplating what to write, I kept returning to the parallels between marriage and the walk of faith. I encourage you to read Song of Solomon – or Song of Songs – depending on what Bible you use. It depicts an intimate pursuit between a man and a woman, as well as between Jesus and us. My natural tendency is to look for the formula that works and then duplicate it. However, neither marriage nor my walk with Christ follows a formula. There are some basic principles but every recipe is different, just as every person is different. And unlike my favorite recipes, I do not get to know the exact nature of the end product nor all of the ingredients I need to prepare the dish. God wants me to stay close to Him and he will whisper what ingredients I need to add and when. All I get to know about the recipe is that it will be GOOD, but I need to take that on faith. Neither my marriage nor my Christian walk has progressed as I expected 25 years ago yet both have been good and rich.
Jesus invites into an intimate romance, as told throughout the Song of Solomon, much like getting married is the first step down an unexpected journey, full of turns and twists, unexpected joys and sorrows. The trick is to embrace them all as part of the wonderful wild adventure we are blessed to travel. Any good romance story has challenge, heartbreak, doubt, and fear mixed in with joy, passion, and overcoming forces trying to tear you apart. Those things don’t end the day you say “I do” just like they don’t cease when you accept Jesus into your heart. Jesus wants to romance us throughout the everyday challenges we all face, just as our husbands want to pursue us despite jobs, kids, bills, life. Things will not go as you expect. Expect the unexpected. The Shulamite woman in Song of Solomon both hides from her lover and seeks him. The man, frequently considered to be Solomon, does the same. Life goes on, business is taken care of, yet their desire for each other runs through all the circumstances.
Throughout the chapters the man speaks to the wounds the woman has received throughout her life and redeems them, speaks truth to the lie, so the woman can recognize she is the beauty he perceives her to be. The woman praises the man and speaks of her desire for him. In our marriage, I have found those to be good models to follow. Frequently my husband sees things in me I do not, and I recognize greatness in him that he does not always see. And underneath it all, we both need to pursue each other. Sometimes one pursues the other more, but it is a dance, a romance, not a cookbook recipe. When we took ballroom dance lessons, we learned one of the keys to the Latin dances was the alternating pursuit. The man pursues the woman as she pulls away, then the woman pursues the man, then they rejoice in being together and the pursuit starts all over again. Song of Solomon details a very similar pattern; however, remember it is a pattern not a recipe. Every couple will have their own dance, their own rhythm just as everyone’s walk with Christ is unique.
I encourage you to meditate on what the Shulamite woman says in Song of Solomon 2:2 – “I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of many valleys.” (NKJV). Throughout the book, the woman is honored for who she is, not what she does. In this current season of busyness, I wrestle with this. I frequently get caught up in my value being what I have accomplished – or more frequently – not accomplished. Yet the truth is the ultimate bridegroom, Jesus, sees us as his beloved bride, our value is safe in Him. The other point is to remember to delight in each other – in your marriage, in your romance with God, and in the body of Christ. We are all uniquely and wonderfully made and while the differences may occasionally cause friction, they also bring life. Throughout the Song of Solomon, the man and woman delight in each other. Delight in your husband for who he is not what he does, delight also in your friends, your children, and most importantly of all, delight in Jesus. He delights in us. Leave room in your heart and time in your day to remember He delights in you. In 2:2 Solomon says “ Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.”. And the woman responds, “I sat down in his shade with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.”. And again in 4:9 the bridegroom says, “You have ravished my heart…” (NKJV) while in 7:3 he says “How beautiful you are, how charming, my love, my delight” (the New Jerusalem translation). When I remember that “I am my beloveds and his desire is for me.” (vs. &:10-11), I find I don’t need the recipe. I am ready to dance through the romance for yet another day.
I want to leave you with one of my favorite sections from Song of Solomon that has really been speaking to me lately, partly because it seems somewhat contrary to how the world looks right now. I particularly love the New Jerusalem version.
“My love lifts up his voice,
he says to me,
“Come, then, my beloved,
my lovely one, come.
For see, winter is past,
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers are appearing on the earth.
The season of glad songs has come….
Come then, my beloved,
my lovely one, come.” (2:10-13)
